Brown Skin Beauty: Beauty In My Brown Skin

Hey There Lovlies,

This time around I thought I'd talk about something more personal. The majority of my posts are superficial; clothing, adventures, food, and they only say so much about me. This time I want to talk about something more personal, something that will get people thinking. Something that will tell you more about me.

When the word beauty comes to mind some people may think of makeup, fashionable clothing, certain kinds of hair, skin, teeth, and skin. Before, that was my idea of beauty. Wanting to look like one of the girls from the television screen or magazines; tall, long hair, colored eyes. Something that would make me look unique. But, I eventually realized that a majority of that was makeup, photoshop, and other unnatural techniques to make these girls look perfect. I was the short African American girl with short brown hair, brown eyes, athletic build, small bust, always playing sports, sometimes considered 'one of the guys'. I was something you didn't see often, if at all, on television or in magazines. So I didn't have much to compare myself to to make myself feel beautiful.

As I got older I stopped wanting to compare myself to girls on the TV and magazines. I wanted to be the most beautiful me I could possibly be. I wanted to be the most beautiful Carla Renee that could ever exist because I knew God gave me something that no one could ever take or compare; my beauty. My beauty isn't just my physical appearance. It's my poise, my heart, my strength, my drive, and my courage. 

When I am around people I want to have the kind of presence that lets people know that I am respectable, yet fun to be around. When I'm around people I want them to hear and see the happiness and innocence in my laughter and smile. That no man will EVER think twice about calling me anything other than my name. That when it comes to dealing with me you must come correct. I want people to know right off the bat that my heart is pure. That I am a sincere woman that means no harm and only wants the best for herself and everyone around her. That when people witness my courage, strength, and determination it will leave them in awe. That when they see me hard at work all they can say is 'Wow, that girl is going somewhere. She is going to be somebody'.

When people see me I don't want them to tell me that I am pretty for being a black girl. I want to make sure that the last thing they ever think of when they see me are the girls on WorldStar. When people see me I want them to think. 'wow, this girl is beautiful. Not only because she is physically attractive, but because she is a strong-willed, high spirited woman with a pure heart who knows what she wants in life and is loving and nurturing to those around her.' I am proud to stand tall at 5'2 with a pure heart, strong willed, and poise like no other. I'm not perfect now but I am working towards being the perfect Carla Renee that God has planned for me to be.

My Brown Skin Beauty isn't limited to no one ethnicity or background. This can apply to anyone and everyone. So what is your Brown Skin Beauty?

Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

We're always looking for it, but how do we know when we've found it?

Love.

This blog is about the simplest but one of the most complicated things in life.
What do you look for in love? How do we know it's love? Where do we look? and Once we've got it, then what? Questions that I know I don't have the answers to but questions that I can at least state my opinion on. I'm still very young and I have so much more to experience and more wisdom to gain, but as a person who feels and has emotions I can chime my opinion on this topic. Feel free to chime your thoughts and opinions on this topic as well. There isn't a concrete definition or a correct perspective on this powerful phenomenon, so let your thoughts be heard.

What do you look for in love?
From the perspective of someone who is looking from the outside in, I feel like people take love to seriously. I think that love should be fun, adventurous, kind and inspiring. I think you and your significant other should make each other laugh and should constantly be surprising one another. Love should be simple. It shouldn't take constant date night and gifts to be happy. I feel like you should be comfortable with a walk to the store or a planned stay in and wear pajamas and watch movies and TV all day kind of days are good. But that doesn't mean a romantic day/evening out every once in a while shouldn't be done. I think that it's important to examine the other person's true intentions in themselves as well as in the relationship. It goes for us as well. If our own intentions are not true to ourselves how can we hold true intentions towards someone else?

How do we know it's love?
Love is completely subjective. It depends on the person and their needs. But all in all, I think that you'll know it's love when that person makes you happy and makes you laugh. When you can let your barriers down and they never go near the boundaries of taking advantage of you. When you see things in that person that no one else can. When you can see their gentle side, their strong side, their potential and the love that you are blessed to be able to experience. I think when you feel secure and protected around this person and feel like they have everything under control is a powerful feeling. Yet at the same time you can feel strong even in their presence. When they encourage you and push you toward your own goals while still being able to focus on their own. I think when all of these components come together it makes the strong bond that we know as Love.

Where do we look?
I feel like love just naturally manifests when you come across someone that makes you see things in a whole new positive perspective that you would have never thought of before. But if there were a place to look for love the number one place to look would be within yourself. Be the person you want to love and that person will come. If you want someone who is strong, confident, and independent then you have to be strong, confident, and independent. It would be illogical for you to think that your "dream guy/girl" will come along if you aren't the "dream you". The phrase "opposites attract" is irrelevant to the circumstance of love, in my opinion. Not all of the time, but most of the time, if there is someone who is not matching the amount of effort that you are putting into the relationship then they do not have the same intentions as you. For example, if you are someone who lacks confidence and someone with a huge amount of confidence comes along there is a possibility that they think they can take advantage of you and they will. Or if it's the other way around and you're a strong confident person and the other person is the opposite then they may have the intention to use you to better themselves or somehow get ahead in life. If you ever feel like the person that has come along is too good to be true, then chances are you're right. The person you "fall in love with" shouldn't be an intimidation. They should be an excellent compliment to the strong and solid you that you already are. These circumstances are not always the case, but it's really important to watch this person and really dig deep and look into their intentions.

Once we've go it, Now what?
Hold onto it. Easier said then done, I know. You're two individuals who are trying to work as one solid couple. Someone's interest might change, or time just slowly changes a person. Honest communication is key. Let your feelings be heard. Tell them how you feel, do what you can to make it work. Love is a never ending process. It's difficulty varies on the kind of person you are with, which is why it is important to really examine and watch this person before stepping into love. Keeping the love strong can be a little easier or harder. What's really important is that equal effort is put in by both partners. No one person can put in more effort. It will lead to resentment and frequent arguing. It's possible to fall out of love with a person, it happens a lot. That's completely normal. Is it going to hurt? Yes. But time and experience will heal. But if this 'love' is doing more harm than good, it's time to let it go. Don't ever be afraid to let go of something that you know is hurting you or the both of you. It'll be hard in the beginning but in the end you're doing both of you a favor.

Love is such a complicated situation. But if it's done correctly it can be one of the best experiences in your life. Love is not a one try success, it's going to take trial and error, misses, minor hits, and heartache. But just think of it this way, all of your struggle and strife is going to bring you closer to the love that will make you smile, feel like your on top of the world, and happy beyond description. It's gonna be a long and rough journey, but if you follow the path you create for yourself you'll find your own happy ending.

So are you up for the journey?

Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

Just Breathe

So far I'm about 3 months into my first semester of college. I only have about a month left before the semester is over and today was like any other day, me trying to survive the day. Walking out of my last class with a friend, we were talking about how much effort should be put into college work. I'm putting all of my effort into my school work while my friend kind of isn't. His response to that was, "I have other important things to do. Like hang out with my roommates, go outside, and just live." I had no idea how to respond to that. He took me by surprise. Before leaving he said, "You'll understand eventually." 
After he left I thought about what he said. I had been so wrapped up and stressed out about school work that I haven't been living. I've just been going through the motions of waking up, going to class, doing homework, studying for long hours, and napping whenever I wasn't in class or had an exam to study for or a paper to write. It kind of makes me laugh now that I've realized this because wasn't living the reason why I moved away from home in the first place? 
I came to San Francisco to explore and experience a new pace of living. To find myself and feed my passion for writing and photography. I came to San Francisco to reinvent myself; to expose myself to something unfamiliar and let myself blossom to my fullest potential. Looking back, I had a plan. I was going to get into photography more and write more and just live more. But I haven't been doing that. I've been so focused on making sure that I get into the nursing program by getting straight A's that I haven't been living. Now that I think about it, once I get into the nursing program and get my degree what kind of stories can I tell about my college life if all I did was go to class and live in the library? None.
From this point on I am making it a goal and a promise to myself to live. To just breathe and take in the sights and appreciate life for what it is. Because after I accomplish my professional goals I have nothing else to show for my life. I don't want my life to be all about my career. I want my life to be about me and the things I love so that I can pass it onto my kids and my kids can pass stories about my life onto their children.
Now, with this proclamation I'm not saying I'm not gonna try and aim for A's anymore, I am. My goal is to get A's in college. A's just aren't gonna be my life anymore. I'm going to wake up early in the mornings and not stay in bed all the time. I'm going to blog more and devote more time to learning more about photography. I'm going to try and rekindle my passion for music and possibly relearn the piano (maybe). I'm going to set time out to write more. I'm going to explore when my schedule allows me to. I'm going to be successful in school and enjoy the finer things in life; my passions.
I'm going to do all of these things because I want to do all of these things. I'm making it a promise to myself to do all of these things because when I look back on my life I want to be able to say I accomplished something more than just a career, I want to be able to say I accomplished happiness and meaning of life.
Sometimes you just have to breathe. 



<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11355505/?claim=j83n2jrk6vk">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>