Actions Speak Louder than Words

A lot was said, but never with words.

Outside of us there are things I wish I could take back.

The feel of your lips, the touch of your skin.

Running my fingertips across your arms and cheeks.

Just one look into your eyes.

Feeling your heartbeat with my hands.

Reality intertwining with fantasy.

A conversation without words.

A conversation within the heart.




A heart crushed by reality. . .

Brown Skin Beauty: Interracial & Same Race Dating

Hello my lovelies!,

So for the second installment of my Brown Skin Beauty series I will be talking about DATING!! To be more specific I will be chatting a bit about interracial and same race dating; which one is better, what are the pros and cons, and my take on the two. I've been approached about this topic before and I'm excited to share what I think about them and I would love to hear what all of you think about the topic.

First and foremost I don't believe that one is better than the other. It totally depends on the person and what they are comfortable with. Now, there are pros and cons to both that I feel are bound to happen. To start off I'll talk about same race dating. To me, the obvious pro to this would be common understanding of each other's racial experiences. For example, an African American couple will understand each other's experiences with other races and the context that certain interactions are taken in, whether it be good or bad. I feel like that is a huge pro because I feel like it is harder to get that kind of support and understanding from another person who hasn't experienced it because they are not the same race as you. Another pro to same race dating would be the ability to strengthen traditions. Within any race there are traditions that are unique to each. Dating within the same race can strengthen those traditions and can eventually lead to passing down traditions to further generations.

At this point I can only think of one possible con to same race dating and that would be narrow mindedness. I'm not saying it's bound to happen or a completely bad thing. I feel that when dating within the same race there is a chance of being with someone that has the same perspective as you and I just feel that it's great to be able to interact with someone who has a different perspective than you. I feel like that can help build character and just open one's eyes to a whole new perspective that they would have never thought of and vice versa. I find that to be exciting.

Just like same race dating, interracial dating has it's own pros and cons of its own. A major pro I see would be the exposure to different perspectives. Each of you see the world through different lenses and can teach each other what it is that you know and experience. It gives you the ability to blend both of your perspectives together to create a brand new perspective and create new insights that can help each of you grow as a person. Create new traditions for future generations and just learn from each other. It's important to familiarize yourself with different cultures just out of respect for the many different people that live on this Earth and if you can find that in a mate that you can connect with that is a definite plus. It can make you a more well-round citizen of the planet.

The pros to interracial dating are enlightening, but there can be cons to getting into the an interracial relationship. One possible con is miscommunication. The meaning and context of words and interactions can be different among different cultures and may cause tension. But, if both of you want to make the relationship work I feel like that can be an obstacle that the two of you can overcome. Another possible con can be how strict traditions can be. Sometimes there are cultures that would prefer dating and marriage to be within the same nationality and culture. That can be difficult if the parents want their child to date within their race and you're not of the same race. It's possible to get the parents to warm up to you and have a change of heart, but this isn't guaranteed. Another con to different traditions may be that the tradition may be too demanding. But, I honestly feel that if both of you are happy and want to make the relationship work and find a middle ground despite the "guidelines" a culture might have. There may be a few more possible cons in interracial dating than in same race dating, but that doesn't mean that interracial relationships can't be as strong or even stronger than same race relationships. All relationships take dedication and commitment. Interracial relationships just might need a little more dedication, but it isn't anything that can't conqured 

Personally, I do not purposely choose one or the other. It's about the individual and aspects of their personalities that draw me in. I have come across Asian American males that have gotten my attention because of their optimism, perspective, and fun personalities.I have come across African American males that have gotten my attention because of our similarities, and spontaneity. I will admit, most of the men that I have been drawn to were not of my nationality and nationality doesn't rank high in what I look for in a guy. They just so happen to be whatever it is that they are. I'll talk more about dating in general in another post. But, with interracial dating being the focus of this post my stance on this is that race shouldn't be a huge factor in terms of a relationship. Love has no color. It's about the connection you have with that person, a connection that you can't even put into words but in your heart you know it's right.

So with that being said, what do you guys think about this? Do you find race to be an important factor in finding a mate or do you think it's a minimal factor? Are there any pros and cons that you guys can think of that I didn't touch on?

Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

We're always looking for it, but how do we know when we've found it?

Love.

This blog is about the simplest but one of the most complicated things in life.
What do you look for in love? How do we know it's love? Where do we look? and Once we've got it, then what? Questions that I know I don't have the answers to but questions that I can at least state my opinion on. I'm still very young and I have so much more to experience and more wisdom to gain, but as a person who feels and has emotions I can chime my opinion on this topic. Feel free to chime your thoughts and opinions on this topic as well. There isn't a concrete definition or a correct perspective on this powerful phenomenon, so let your thoughts be heard.

What do you look for in love?
From the perspective of someone who is looking from the outside in, I feel like people take love to seriously. I think that love should be fun, adventurous, kind and inspiring. I think you and your significant other should make each other laugh and should constantly be surprising one another. Love should be simple. It shouldn't take constant date night and gifts to be happy. I feel like you should be comfortable with a walk to the store or a planned stay in and wear pajamas and watch movies and TV all day kind of days are good. But that doesn't mean a romantic day/evening out every once in a while shouldn't be done. I think that it's important to examine the other person's true intentions in themselves as well as in the relationship. It goes for us as well. If our own intentions are not true to ourselves how can we hold true intentions towards someone else?

How do we know it's love?
Love is completely subjective. It depends on the person and their needs. But all in all, I think that you'll know it's love when that person makes you happy and makes you laugh. When you can let your barriers down and they never go near the boundaries of taking advantage of you. When you see things in that person that no one else can. When you can see their gentle side, their strong side, their potential and the love that you are blessed to be able to experience. I think when you feel secure and protected around this person and feel like they have everything under control is a powerful feeling. Yet at the same time you can feel strong even in their presence. When they encourage you and push you toward your own goals while still being able to focus on their own. I think when all of these components come together it makes the strong bond that we know as Love.

Where do we look?
I feel like love just naturally manifests when you come across someone that makes you see things in a whole new positive perspective that you would have never thought of before. But if there were a place to look for love the number one place to look would be within yourself. Be the person you want to love and that person will come. If you want someone who is strong, confident, and independent then you have to be strong, confident, and independent. It would be illogical for you to think that your "dream guy/girl" will come along if you aren't the "dream you". The phrase "opposites attract" is irrelevant to the circumstance of love, in my opinion. Not all of the time, but most of the time, if there is someone who is not matching the amount of effort that you are putting into the relationship then they do not have the same intentions as you. For example, if you are someone who lacks confidence and someone with a huge amount of confidence comes along there is a possibility that they think they can take advantage of you and they will. Or if it's the other way around and you're a strong confident person and the other person is the opposite then they may have the intention to use you to better themselves or somehow get ahead in life. If you ever feel like the person that has come along is too good to be true, then chances are you're right. The person you "fall in love with" shouldn't be an intimidation. They should be an excellent compliment to the strong and solid you that you already are. These circumstances are not always the case, but it's really important to watch this person and really dig deep and look into their intentions.

Once we've go it, Now what?
Hold onto it. Easier said then done, I know. You're two individuals who are trying to work as one solid couple. Someone's interest might change, or time just slowly changes a person. Honest communication is key. Let your feelings be heard. Tell them how you feel, do what you can to make it work. Love is a never ending process. It's difficulty varies on the kind of person you are with, which is why it is important to really examine and watch this person before stepping into love. Keeping the love strong can be a little easier or harder. What's really important is that equal effort is put in by both partners. No one person can put in more effort. It will lead to resentment and frequent arguing. It's possible to fall out of love with a person, it happens a lot. That's completely normal. Is it going to hurt? Yes. But time and experience will heal. But if this 'love' is doing more harm than good, it's time to let it go. Don't ever be afraid to let go of something that you know is hurting you or the both of you. It'll be hard in the beginning but in the end you're doing both of you a favor.

Love is such a complicated situation. But if it's done correctly it can be one of the best experiences in your life. Love is not a one try success, it's going to take trial and error, misses, minor hits, and heartache. But just think of it this way, all of your struggle and strife is going to bring you closer to the love that will make you smile, feel like your on top of the world, and happy beyond description. It's gonna be a long and rough journey, but if you follow the path you create for yourself you'll find your own happy ending.

So are you up for the journey?

Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

Music to Capture the Seasonal Feeling: Christmas Session

Merry Christmas everyone!! I hope you all are enjoying the holiday. I probably should have uploaded this yesterday, but here are some songs that I like to listen to on Christmas. These songs are new, old, and everywhere in between. I love listening to them, they definitely gets me into the holiday spirit. I hope you all enjoy and Happy Holidays!

Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

Toni Braxton- "The Christmas Song"

Boyz II Men- "Let It Snow"

Justin Beiber- "Christmas Eve"

Whitney Houston- "One wish for Christmas"

Chris Brown- "This Christmas"

Monica- "Grown Up Christmas List"

Jackson 5- "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

Jaime Foxx- "Christmas List"

Mariah Carey- "All I Want For Christmas Is You"

Music to Capture the Seasonal Feeling: Winter Session

Hey everyone! So in my last "Music to Capture the Seasonal Feeling" post I focused on music that would capture the Autumn feel. Well, now it's time to create our own Winter Wonderland. When I think of Winter I think of cuddling up in a warm blank or with a significant other. Winter is definitely a season for love. And Christmas and the giving spirit of course. Here are some of the songs that I've been listening to and enjoying during this bundle up season. For me, these songs aren't too energetic and not too slow to where they bore me, They're perfect. :) Enjoy!

Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

"Blue Electric Roses"- Travis Garland
I recently came across Travis Garland on YouTube and apparently he's been an active artist for awhile. This song is amazing! I've had this song on constant rotation on my iPod for awhile. He's a really good artist and this song is perfect for that cool winter feel.











"Wrap Me Up"- Jhene Aiko
I decided to explore Jhene Aiko's music after noticing her appearances on Drake's most recent album 'Nothing Was the Same'. This song has been out for a few years I think, but I have a feeling that when it was first released it was released around Christmas time. Since a line in her songs says, "Every December you'd make sure you're here...". It's a great song to cuddle to, haha.












"Christmas Eve"- Justin Bieber
This song is like a year or two old, but I still listen to it. It's so cute! I love this song a lot. I'm not going to lie, I listen to this song year around. It's a great song for any couple, young or old. It's just a cute song, I love it, it's perfect for the holiday season.

"Kiss Me"- Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran is an amazing artist. I think I've said that before in my last music post. This song is one of my all time favorites by him. The lyrics make me think of staying inside the house by the fire with a significant other while it's raining or snowing outside. I listen to this song all the time.

"Furthest Thing/ Hold On We're Going Home"- Ginette Claudette
Ginette Claudette is an up and coming artist that I came across on YouTube. She has an album already out called "Everything's Coming Up Roses". It's a really nice album. Ginette recently did her own rendition of two of Drake's songs "Furthest Thing" and "Hold On We're Going Home". It's one of my covers. It has a really nice r&b feel that I love oh so much.

"Woman's Worth"- Maxwell
This song is pretty old, but it's still so beautiful. This guy's voice is amazing and he still has his phenomenal voice today. "Woman's Worth" is one of many songs of his Now album, which in my opinion is one of his best albums ever. To be honest I don't have a clear understanding of what the song is about. I think I know, but regardless, if someone dedicated this song to me I would be flattered.

"Latch" (Acoustic Version)- Sam Smith
I think this song has been out for awhile, but I never knew what it was called. I found this song from watching a choreography done by Julie Zhan on YouTube. Her choreo to this song is one of my favorite choreo videos ever. I highly recommend you to go and check it! Click on the link, It's so romantic. The feels are definitely real from watching this. This song alone is super romantic. Can this be my wedding song when I get married? Lol, just kidding, it's too soon for me to be thinking out that kind of stuff. :)
















What songs do you all love listening to during the Winter season?

Staying Cute and Warm in the Crisp Winter Weather

Hey lovelies, even though it is technically still Autumn, December has brought in the Winter chill and it is definitely starting to set in, especially in San Francisco. Here are some ideas of staying warm and cute in the wind chill of the upcoming winter. Below are some of my favorite individual items and outfits.
Hope you enjoy. :)


Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

Cardigans: Recently since I've moved to NorCal I have fallen in love with cardigans. They're so cute and warm. You can wear them with jeans or leggings. I personally love wearing cardigans with leggings and knit beanies. 

Infinity Scarves: Before moving up north I didn't really like scarves. In the area that I lived in scarves weren't really necessary because it never got that cold. Since I didn't need them I didn't wear them and I didn't feel like wearing a scarf as a fashion statement. But, now that I need them in San Francisco they've become one of my favorite things to wear! I wear them for warmth and as a fashion statement.

Boots: Boots are now one of my obsessions, point blank. Whether they are heeled boots like these, under the knee high boots or cute flat boots like the ones below. I'll wear them. Especially with a cardigan and a cute pair of leggings.

Here are some outfit ideas for the winter season that I find super cute!

Over the past season or two I have gotten into neutral colors like beige. I've also found a new love for the color maroon. I feel like neutral colors can go with anything. That's probably why they're called neutral colors in the first place, lol.

Purple has always been a favorite color of mine since I could remember. The knit cardigan and grey boots go perfect with the jeans and what's great about the color of the cardigan is that any pattern and color scarf goes well with it. Another pro to neutral colors. :)

Here is a simple outfit with a cardigan and boots. I couldn't turn it away because of the light brown and dark brown combination. The boots are cute and can be worn in any weather because they're made out of leather.

I really like this outfit because it's not dressy, it's simple, and it's still really cute. All that's needed is your favorite pair of skinny jeans, a zip up sweater, warm knit boots, and a purse. I personally don't think the kind of purse matters. It can be a backpack purse or a regular purse. You'll still look cute.

Another outfit that I love now that I have to dress warmer is definitely the combination of long skit sweaters and leggings. I feel like it's a cute and innocent look. There also isn't anything difficult about the outfit and it's still really cute. It can be an easy go to outfit if you don't know what to wear. Another thing I like about this outfit is that you can do so much with it. You can wear boots, add a scarf, and/or a beanie with it. Either way, you'll look and feel warm and comfortable.

 I hope you enjoyed these outfit ideas. Hopefully they inspired you to create your own personal winter wonderland wardrobe. No matter what, the best outfit is the one that is stylish and one that you love. <3

Just in Time For the Holidays

Thanksgiving is a few days away and it's one of my favorite holidays. Thanksgiving to me is a time of bonding and togetherness. The family gathers in one home to laugh, catch up on old times, make new memories, love,  and enjoy a delicious feast together. I won't be flying home to Southern California for Thanksgiving this year unfortunately. It'll be my first time spending the holidays away from family, but it's okay. I'll be home just in time for Christmas.

Now that I'm older there's one thing that I would love to do.That one thing is to host a Thanksgiving dinner for my close friends and family. Hosting a Thanksgiving dinner is a lot of work, but I think that there isn't a better feeling than decorating your home and preparing a meal for you and your guests to enjoy and bond over. Unfortunately, I'm a college student and I live in the on-campus dorms at my university so my budget and living situation won't allow me to do so. But in the future when I'm out of college and I have my own home I will host a Thanksgiving dinner at least once. :)

Here are some Thanksgiving recipes that I would experiment with if I were to host a Thanksgiving feast. I hope you guys find these recipes helpful and yummy like I do. To see the recipes click on the names of the dishes above the picture and it will send you straight to the recipe. 
Enjoy and Happy Holidays. :)

Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo

Pear, Arugula, and Pancetta Salad

I would make this light salad during the day before dinner. It's light and is just enough to satisfy your hunger so that you're not full before dinner.
















Nutty Brown Rice

Brown rice is a great side dish to any meal and it's really healthy for you. I love brown rice. According to Health.com, brown rice contain a healthy carb that boosts metabolism and burns fat. Certain nuts like almonds, cashews, pistachios, walnuts, and peanuts have beneficial effects for your health. All around, great dish. :)










Spinach Puffs

This is a quick and easy vegetarian dish. I like spinach. I think this dish is a creative and fun way of incorporating vegetables into your meal.














Classic Roast Turkey with Herbed Stuffing and Old-Fashioned Gravy

Thanksgiving Dinners always have a center piece and what better center piece than a classic roast Turkey. Turkey is like the signature dish of Thanksgiving. Nothing like a classic turkey right?











Cranberry Eggnog Tart

From experience I've learned that eggnog is a hit or miss with a lot of people. They either love it or hate it. I love eggnog! When I came across this recipe I couldn't turn it down. I looks so good. I hope someone tries this recipe.
















Pumpkin Ginger Cheesecake Pie

I'm not a fan of pumpkin, but I do know that pumpkin pie is a popular dessert for Thanksgiving. I love cheesecake and ginger so I would be willing to give pumpkin another try. This looks delicious! Cheesecake is a smooth dessert so it would be a perfect way to end a great Thanksgiving dinner.











Spiced Hot Chocolate

After a long day of festivities it's nice to finish the night off with a warm cup of Hot Chocolate to unwind.














Oreo Frappe

If you prefer cold drinks at the end of the night, this just might be the one. :)
















For more recipes like these go to bigoven.com or epicurious.com where I got the recipes I posted above.

Music to Capture the Seasonal Feeling

So, I don't know about you guys but Autumn has definitely set in out here in San Francisco. It's gotten cold and people are in coats and boots and wrapped up in scarves. What I like to do, specially in cold weather, is have music matching the cold weather. I feel like I'm having one of those cliche movie moments when I'm walking alone bundled up in warm clothes with my hands in my coat pockets and I have relaxing music in my headphones. Maybe that's just the hopeless romantic in me, lol. But, anyways, here are the artists and songs that I recommend for those cold Autumn days. :)

Tori Kelly's "Foreword" EP

Tori Kelly released "Foreword" on October 22, 2013. Her voice is amazing and she's an amazing live performer. I love every song on this EP. My personal favorites that are constantly on repeat are "Dear No One" and "Paper Hearts". Besides her newly released EP she has many videos on her YouTube channel of her doing covers of songs with other talented artists. I suggest you guys check her out. She's amazing and her music is just right for those cold days out or even for those days when you're inside staying out of the cold.











Jesse Barrera "From the Ground Up"

This album was released earlier this year, in March to be exact. I just recently bought this album on iTunes and I'm kind of sad I didn't buy it sooner. This album is so unique and the lyrics are so relatable. I've been a fan of Jesse Barrera for years now. He also has another album that he released a few years ago called "Love in Technicolor" which I will mention right after this album. A couple of songs great for the weather off of this album would definitely be "Promises" featuring AJ Rafael who is also an amazing artist, "Stars", "Wasted", and "Saved" featuring Melissa Polinar, who is another amazing artist. Definitely an album worth looking in to.









Jesse Barrera "Love in Technicolor"

This album was released in 2010 and I still have it on regular rotation on my iPod. I would tell you guys which songs are great for this weather, but I would just be listing off the whole album. Every single song on this album is amazing. Jesse Barrera's sound is definitely one of a kind. If you want to capture the mood of a cold Autumn day/afternoon, just play this album. I love it.














Ed Sheeran "+" (Deluxe Edition)

Ed Sheeran is an artist I came across about a year or two ago. I love him. For those of you that are familiar with him and his music you know exactly why it would be absurd of me to not mention him as one of the artists to listen to to capture the essence of Autumn. He's so talented and it's incredible how a majority of his songs can hit home, for me anyways. If you have not heard of Ed Sheeran I really hope you look into his music. Ed Sheeran's music is one of those things that everyone should have the chance to experience.










These are the artists that I have chosen for the season. There are so many artists and songs that I listen to. It was really hard picking artists, but these are the ones that I have been listening to the most lately. I might do another music post as a continuation. Or, actually, I might continue to do weekly or biweekly music posts. So look out for that. Also, if you have any artist or song suggestions for me, write them in the comments and I will gladly look them up and maybe even put them in my future music posts. I hope you guys enjoy these artists as much as I do. :)



yours truly,

-Carla Renee 
xoxo

Getting Out of My Comfort Zone

So in my last post I talked about going out and living life and today I did just that, but not by my own will necessarily. Today was a beautiful day in San Francisco. I was texting a guy friend of mine and he also agreed that today was a nice day. A little further into our conversation he asked if I wanted to sit in the grass with him on campus. Me being the dorky somewhat smitten girl that I am, I was totally blushing, but I said yes. Thank God we were texting, if we were in person that would have been so embarrassing. When we met up he instantly started conversation. Asking me how my day was and what was new with me. It was nice. After finally finding a nice place in the sun to sit we sat down in the grass and started talking more. He asked me about my love for volleyball and I asked him about his love for his sport. We talked about school, growing up, and how it's okay to be kid sometimes. It was such a refreshing feeling to have someone interested in my interests and listening to what I have to say. I'm not gonna lie, I had a crush on him before this day, but when it was just the two of us sitting in the grass enjoying the sun I started to like him more. He had to leave because there were some things he had to take care of, but he walked me halfway to my dorm and we talked more. We were laughing and chatting and I was holding onto his arm while we were walking. I had never held onto his arm before, but it felt right. After a certain point we hugged and said our goodbyes. I walked the rest of the way to my dorm all smiles. Looking like the dorky somewhat smitten girl that I am. I wonder if this is what it's like to take things slow or maybe I'm just way in over my head. Regardless, I've never had such a simple day with someone before, especially with a guy. He's definitely something different. But, it's a good different. A different I like. I really hope we get more days together like these.