This blog is about the simplest but one of the most complicated things in life.
What do you look for in love? How do we know it's love? Where do we look? and Once we've got it, then what? Questions that I know I don't have the answers to but questions that I can at least state my opinion on. I'm still very young and I have so much more to experience and more wisdom to gain, but as a person who feels and has emotions I can chime my opinion on this topic. Feel free to chime your thoughts and opinions on this topic as well. There isn't a concrete definition or a correct perspective on this powerful phenomenon, so let your thoughts be heard.
What do you look for in love?
From the perspective of someone who is looking from the outside in, I feel like people take love to seriously. I think that love should be fun, adventurous, kind and inspiring. I think you and your significant other should make each other laugh and should constantly be surprising one another. Love should be simple. It shouldn't take constant date night and gifts to be happy. I feel like you should be comfortable with a walk to the store or a planned stay in and wear pajamas and watch movies and TV all day kind of days are good. But that doesn't mean a romantic day/evening out every once in a while shouldn't be done. I think that it's important to examine the other person's true intentions in themselves as well as in the relationship. It goes for us as well. If our own intentions are not true to ourselves how can we hold true intentions towards someone else?
How do we know it's love?
Love is completely subjective. It depends on the person and their needs. But all in all, I think that you'll know it's love when that person makes you happy and makes you laugh. When you can let your barriers down and they never go near the boundaries of taking advantage of you. When you see things in that person that no one else can. When you can see their gentle side, their strong side, their potential and the love that you are blessed to be able to experience. I think when you feel secure and protected around this person and feel like they have everything under control is a powerful feeling. Yet at the same time you can feel strong even in their presence. When they encourage you and push you toward your own goals while still being able to focus on their own. I think when all of these components come together it makes the strong bond that we know as Love.
Where do we look?
I feel like love just naturally manifests when you come across someone that makes you see things in a whole new positive perspective that you would have never thought of before. But if there were a place to look for love the number one place to look would be within yourself. Be the person you want to love and that person will come. If you want someone who is strong, confident, and independent then you have to be strong, confident, and independent. It would be illogical for you to think that your "dream guy/girl" will come along if you aren't the "dream you". The phrase "opposites attract" is irrelevant to the circumstance of love, in my opinion. Not all of the time, but most of the time, if there is someone who is not matching the amount of effort that you are putting into the relationship then they do not have the same intentions as you. For example, if you are someone who lacks confidence and someone with a huge amount of confidence comes along there is a possibility that they think they can take advantage of you and they will. Or if it's the other way around and you're a strong confident person and the other person is the opposite then they may have the intention to use you to better themselves or somehow get ahead in life. If you ever feel like the person that has come along is too good to be true, then chances are you're right. The person you "fall in love with" shouldn't be an intimidation. They should be an excellent compliment to the strong and solid you that you already are. These circumstances are not always the case, but it's really important to watch this person and really dig deep and look into their intentions.
Once we've go it, Now what?
Hold onto it. Easier said then done, I know. You're two individuals who are trying to work as one solid couple. Someone's interest might change, or time just slowly changes a person. Honest communication is key. Let your feelings be heard. Tell them how you feel, do what you can to make it work. Love is a never ending process. It's difficulty varies on the kind of person you are with, which is why it is important to really examine and watch this person before stepping into love. Keeping the love strong can be a little easier or harder. What's really important is that equal effort is put in by both partners. No one person can put in more effort. It will lead to resentment and frequent arguing. It's possible to fall out of love with a person, it happens a lot. That's completely normal. Is it going to hurt? Yes. But time and experience will heal. But if this 'love' is doing more harm than good, it's time to let it go. Don't ever be afraid to let go of something that you know is hurting you or the both of you. It'll be hard in the beginning but in the end you're doing both of you a favor.
Love is such a complicated situation. But if it's done correctly it can be one of the best experiences in your life. Love is not a one try success, it's going to take trial and error, misses, minor hits, and heartache. But just think of it this way, all of your struggle and strife is going to bring you closer to the love that will make you smile, feel like your on top of the world, and happy beyond description. It's gonna be a long and rough journey, but if you follow the path you create for yourself you'll find your own happy ending.
So are you up for the journey?
Yours Truly,
Carla Renee
xoxo
